Liliana has just fed herself Cheerios for the first time

(this note came from a text message). I just learned I can update the blog by texting from my phone. This means that there will be short, real time entries to document cool things as they happen!

Life as we know it

Tomorrow marks Liliana's 9 month birthday. Chris and I were talking this morning and we both said we are trying so hard to live in the moment. Not only with Liliana but with each other and ourselves. We are both very nostalgic people and I can only speak for myself but few things make me emotional like thinking of the past. I am easily affected by movies and shows that speed through the characters lives and recap the storyline through flashbacks or memories. The final episode of Six Feet Under had me holding back tears as hard as a could because I felt ridiculous crying about a television show. Still, my lips were quivering uncontrollably and I had a huge lump in my throat as I learned the fate of all the characters I had become so close to through years of faithful viewing. Then last night I had the same reaction to the movie Marley and Me (I never read the book). Not sure if it hit so close to home because we had just put Zeppo down and we are starting our own family, but I cried. This time I didn't hold it back- I don't care any longer if it is ridiculous or not- I wanted to cry so I did. I think it is one of those lessons you learn as you get older. The movie isn't deep or terribly philosophical but something about it resonates with me. In the end the oldest boy is watching video of himself as a baby with Marley. I recognized at that moment that I have my own family and together we are making memories for Liliana. I also realized we need a better video camera to start documenting her life more actively than we have been.
Okay, so on to new Liliana activities:
Her clapping is waning- I think the novelty wore off. She now likes to watch her hand open and close- very intently. She has taken raspberry noises to a new level. Two nights ago after I put her to bed, she was making raspberries loud and strong for close to 5 minutes. I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard. It could be due to the intense teething going on. Also when she is alone in bed she laughs at Wally Kowalski (her stuffed Koala). She holds him and laughs- it is really wonderful to hear. She still is not crawling but it giving it a great effort. New prediction- 2 weeks from today she will be crawling. She is standing with support- very strong legs. She loves to stand on her changing table and look at the 2 cat pictures on her wall- that is her latest fascination- she LOVES those pictures!!
Watching her learn new stuff will never get old for me. For example, there is an elephant head on her Jumperoo. The face is turned away from her and is on a resistant spring. I turned it around for her one day and it snapped back. She tried to turn it around herself after that but was just pulling on the head so it didn't turn. The next time I put her in the jumperoo a couple of days later she turned it around with no problem- the kid is a genius. This morning I gave her a tube of blistex and a tub of lip ointment to play with (I was in bed and that is what was on my nightstand). She held one in each hand and examined both very intently. Then she started gently hitting them together. I relayed this to Chris (b/c in my mind it is something pretty cool) and he said "great! she now has a brain of a Neanderthal- making progress!" It was funny.
Finally, we spent the last couple of days with Chris' family who is in town visiting. Yesterday was cousin Maximillian's 2nd birthday. She really enjoyed being around Max. He would give her kisses. She is learning how to kiss back. She puts her lips on my face when I ask for a kiss- I love it so much!
So my long weekend with Liliana is coming to an end. She is about to wake from her morning nap. We have a Memorial Day BBQ down the street later today (weather permitting). I love being with her so much and have major nanny anxiety lately. I will save that for the next post-

Esther Williams Eat Your Heart Out!

My well traveled baby, Chris and I have just returned from a long weekend in Florida visiting Chris' parents. We left during what was looking like Spring in Chicago. We were prepared with infant sunscreen, sweet sun hats, swim diapers, cute floaty toy for the pool and tiny sunglasses. I remembered to pack a swimsuit for myself and enough underwear to get me through the weekend- boy have my priorities changed!
While in Florida Liliana showed us that she is REALLY close to crawling but failed to achieve that milestone on vacation like I had hoped. I just have a feeling I am going to miss this one- I imagine it will happen one day while I am at work- hmmph.
She loved the pool and felt at home in her new floaty toy. She seemed to really enjoy the incredible heat in Florida. She ate great, slept great and was just so much fun to be around all weekend. She claps constantly and just loves life from what I can tell.
She has mastered the art of squealing incredibly loud. This is cute but caused a little shock on the airplane. My initial reaction was to put my hand over her mouth but I quickly realized that was not going to work- she wouldn't understand what that means.

Alright, I need to start taking notes for the blog. I have so many thoughts and ideas to write about but when it comes time to update, all I can think of to say is- ah, she is great, cute, fun blah blah blah. I swear I have an inner writer in me but she hasn't been unleashed. Maybe I shouldn't be blogging while trying to watch the Real Housewives Reunion show.

Next time, detailed notes will hopefully result in a more detailed, insightful entry.

Time Flies

I don't have much to report but always feel the need to continue to update the blog. I imagine major milestones are just around the corner such as crawling, standing, walking, school, college, marriage... We are currently holding steady at sitting but she has it mastered! I am adding this part about 2 hours after initial posting- I noticed that she has learned to clap! I need to look this up and see if she is a genius or if this is normal.

Today is actually her 8 month birthday. She is now sleeping solidly through the night anywhere between 11-13 hours. She enjoys solitary play-I can plop her on the floor or in the pack n' play with some toys and she is entertained. I can only do it for a short time though b/c I don't want to be a neglectful mommie! Newest foods include pasta and cauliflower-we haven't encountered a food yet that she won't eat! (maybe avocado but I haven't tried again recently)

We have some sad news-we had to put Zeppo down on Wednesday. His health failed very rapidly over the weekend and it was time. Chris and I are heartbroken. Zeppo has been with me since 1997. He was with me in Portland, Minnesota and Chicago. I miss him dearly.

We are off to Florida in less than 2 weeks and are looking forward to the visit.

So long for now.

Let the weaning begin!

Alright, maybe not right away but there are signs pointing in that direction. Nursing this last weekend while we were in Iowa was less than pleasant. Alert- this may be TMI for those readers (if there are in fact ANY still out there) who had issues with my nursing updates last September.
I had just sent an e-mail out to my lactation consultant to inquire about weaning techniques. She gave my some advise but I wasn't ready to start any time soon because everything was still so perfect...until Friday. I am so sore right now that I can hardly nurse. Liliana has taken the position that I am just a bottle or a toy. She grabs me with both hands and pulls my boob (excuse me, breast) out of her mouth while still sucking. Remember she also has 2 very sharp teeth now. She does this over and over and it hurts so much. Nursing when she is really tired is still okay but even at night she pulls a lot. So, in any case, I think the next step is to continue pumping at work and nursing her mornings and evenings but to give her formula or pumped milk from a bottle during the days of the weekends. Eventually moving to formula only and reduce my pumping until I am only producing enough for morning and evening feedings. This will lead to nightime feedings only and then none. My goal is to complete this transition by August. However, if the pain or behavior does not improve, I may have to move this time line up. Makes me very sad...

As I mentioned, we were in Iowa over the weekend to visit Frank and Beth and Chris' grandma. It was a very short trip and staying with Liliana in a hotel is getting more difficult now that she is on sleep schedule. Basically we either have to go to bed at 7:00 with her or keep her up until a more reasonable adult bedtime which isn't really fair to her. If we are staying in a house, at least we can put her in a room and go into another room to watch a movie or have a glass of wine with company. In any case, it made the trip a little difficult. Still, she traveled great in the car again- no complaints there!

No closer to crawling though she continues to stick her butt in the air while putting her face on the ground - that won't help much with forward propulsion but she will eventually figure that out.

Her personality is really coming out and it is apparent now that we need to really watch our own behavior around her because she seems to be taking it all in. She is sassy for sure. She swipes at me a lot and likes to scratch with her fingernails. I think it feels good to her but obviously not so much for me. As I type this I realize I have to wrap it up b/c she is mad at me for ignoring her. She is yelling at me to come play with her- really she does that.

Bye for now!

Sit, Stay....

Ah, well it has been one week since we returned from New Mexico. It was such a quick trip- too quick but we did get another plane ride under our belts. This one was much different. While at 3 months she nursed quietly, was unaffected by sounds, sights and strangers, at 7 months she held fascination in everything! Getting her to nurse or sleep during our air travel (or car travel) was near impossible. The good news is that she did not fuss. She was simply happy to observe the crazy cast of characters on the flight. She smiled, laughed and persisted to touch all the ickyness of the plane and then put said ickyness into her mouth. I am sure this is what led to her eye infection which has prevented us from attending our much enjoyed monthly playgroup this weekend.
All in all, the weekend was fun- she was off her sleep schedule which led to some crankiness the first day but by the wedding, she was in perfect form and was quite popular! In fact, one guest went so far as to call her TREMENDOUS. How is that for an adjective? She was passed around the table next to us by total strangers. Well, they were strangers to me but I reasoned that since they knew the groom, they probably would not kidnap my baby.

I can say she is finally sitting- almost unassisted! I still have to stay right by her because she will fall over. It is great though to see her sitting so proud and playing with her toys. She is also doing a lot of kicking. Trying to change a diaper has become a challenge. She flails her legs all over the place and kicks my hands away- I try and make a game out of it and it seems to work- 38% of the time.

Sleep is slightly challenging right now as I believe she is starting to manipulate me. She has my number that is for sure. When I put her in the crib she cries and reaches her arms out for me. It kills me and I must pick her up! I know, I know, let her cry it out or just rub her belly but come on, my baby is REACHING OUT for me! It is getting better though and she is still sleeping pretty well through the night.

She continues to try and love new food. Yesterday I made Chicken and Brown Rice- she ate it voraciously and so did the cats!

Next trip- Car ride #2 to Iowa. I anticipate this won't go as smoothly as it did when she was 2 months old.

Till next time!

On the Road Again

Just a quick note as it has been awhile. Liliana is doing great and mom has let go of her worries. She is very expressive and happy! We finally bought a high chair and she loves to sit up high and feels very proud when she is in it. She is eating like a champ. She eats 4 Tbls of cereal at a time!
We are off to New Mexico today for Patty Romero's wedding to David Thomson. Hopefully air travel with a 7 month old is as easy as it was with a 3 month old!
Liliana is starting to show some signs of moving toward crawling. She is trying to get her knees under her and ONCE she got on her toes and stuck her butt in the air... I give it another month.
She has 2 new teeth on the bottom row and when she laughs you can see them- very cute.
Well I am off for now but I promise to give a full report after our trip to the Land of Enchantment!

6th Month Checkup

Quick list of my concerns as I leave my 6 month check up. She has a benign heart murmur which could be part of a growth spurt. The doctor noted some developmental milestones that they check for have not been reached yet. She is absolutely not concerned but she should be rolling over from her tummy to back and she should also be rocking up on her knees. I pointed out that one of her eyes is squintier than the other so we have to schedule an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist. It could be a lazy muscle and it can be strengthened. Anyway, like I said, doctor really not concerned but she does want to see her in another 6 weeks to follow up. Other than that, she is growing well and everything else is great.
This appointment was particularly tough because she is getting a tooth, has a cold and then had her shots- poor baby.

Trying to keep up

Okay, every time Liliana does something new, cute or reaches another milestone I make a mental note that I need to blog about it. I plan on blogging on Sundays so by the time I sit down, I have forgotten the long list of notes. Either that, or the changes that are happening are occurring so quickly that what seemed new and novel on Monday is old hat by the following weekend! So from memory I will quickly mention some of the things I wanted to share in no particular order: Her tooth is, in fact, coming in. I can see and feel it and so can she! She has certainly been feeling the pain and it is causing her to wake throughout the night but she does put herself back to sleep. She is also sleeping more on her tummy and still hasn't found a way to roll back over. I am not concerned but Chris wakes me up throughout the night fearing that she is suffocating- it is getting a little tiring I tell you!

I hosted my playgroup yesterday. It was great fun and I am really grateful for these moms and friends. I love sharing stories, fears and all experiences with them. They are all unique in their parenting styles and are just a great group of women. I am so thrilled to have found them.

Liliana is starting to sit up a little. I can plop her down and let go and she sits for 30 seconds or so. I imagine by the time we go to New Mexico in 3 weeks she will be sitting on her own and have her first tooth clearly visible.

I feel like I am in a great place right now. Of course the economy stinks and we are feeling the effects from it but despite that I am really happy. Liliana just makes things so wonderful. I look forward to every moment I am with her. I love my new job-I haven't said that for a long time. All and all I feel at peace.

My parting story comes from a moment I had in the middle of the night last night. I went to Liliana because she kept waking up from her teeth and tummy sleeping. I intended to just roll her over but when I picked her up she reached out and hugged me-she started to do that recently. When I went to put her down she got very upset so I decided to nurse her. She nursed for awhile and was awake just starting up at me. She then fell into a deep sleep and the light from the moon (or streetlamp) was coming through the crack between the blinds and illuminating her face. She looked absolutely amazing...just perfect. She was so peacefully sleeping and her lips, nose, eyes, cheeks and eyelashes were highlighted. She looked angelic. I couldn't stop staring and wanted to cry from the purest love I have ever felt. I still can't believe she is mine. Everyone who knows me knows I am not a religious person but I know that I am truly blessed.

How Deep is Your Love?

My last post I left with the promise of feeding broccoli to baby. I must say she loved it but it ended up in the trash because it caused such horrible, miserable gas. She woke up every 2 hours screaming. It was a tough night. We will be sticking with sweet potatoes and pear for now. We have had a rough few days in fact. Last Monday I didn't have enough pumped milk so I made up a couple bottles of formula. She hasn't had formula since that short stint in September. Chris gave her the bottle and she eagerly downed 6 oz! When I came home from work, I nursed her and then put her in her crib while I sat on the floor of the nursery folding laundry. She started fussing a little and then began vomiting profusely! She must have done it 5 times-it was really scary. Just to summarize quickly, we went to the ER, never got seen by a doc but did have her vitals taken. She was fine. We determined it was the formula- not sure if it is just too rich or if she is lactose intolerant or it was just simply too much. Anyway, she is fine now.
She turns 6 months on Thursday and her changes are coming so quickly! So smiley (no longer serious baby), vocal and rolling like crazy. She just started rolling from back to tummy in the last 24 hours. It is really cool but has also been tough getting her to sleep tonight. She keeps waking herself up and then becomes very upset. If only she could learn to roll back over! Speaking of sleep, her schedule has changed. She used to sleep from 7:00am-5:00am or so. Now she wakes up around midnight, then 5:00 then up for the day at 7:00am. I guess this is normal so other than feeling more tired than I have been in the last couple of months, I am accepting it as just another phase.
Right now seems like the best stage yet. I love to make her laugh. I love the way she just stares at me and then smiles. The love has moved to yet another level- how deep can it go?

So many boogers, so little time

Well Liliana caught her first cold. A real cold, not a little sniffle or fussiness like she has had in the past. This one is full out snot coming out of the nose, consistent cough, watery eyes and general misery (for her and for us because she feels bad). She is actually in pretty good spirits considering- it just further highlights her easy going personality. Sleep has eluded her for the last couple of nights. She is waking up every 3 hours or so (thankfully it is the weekend). I am able to nurse her back to sleep but her congestion and coughing wake her up. I am debating about taking her in to the doctor tomorrow or waiting for a week until her 6 month check up. I suppose if she doesn't seem better or even worse we will go earlier. I have learned how much she HATES people messing with her face. Trying to wipe her nose is a challenge and trying to use the bulb syringe to clear out the snot is nearly impossible. When I do succeed with the syringe, she cries so hard and I feel horrible. I can't explain that I am doing it to help her- I do anyway but it doesn't seem to matter.

She also was suffering from constipation yesterday. I attribute it to the bananas as I read they are a common cause. She was pushing so hard yesterday that her face was turning red. I started to make and freeze baby food yesterday so I made some pear and prune puree. Not only did she love the taste, it seemed to work immediately in clearing her out. VERY successful concoction last night and the cure carried over to this morning...yes, I couldn't keep away from poop talk for too long. Today I am going to make broccoli and sweet potatoes. It is really easy to make the purees and I feel really good knowing that the food I feed her is all natural and organic.

I hope she feels better tomorrow because it will be hard to be away from her knowing she is sick.
As an update to the last post, I think I was wrong about the tooth. However, everyday she is more active and fascinating.

I got all my girlfriends (and boyfriends) and me!

Quick list here- time seems to be more and more precious.
We had a playdate yesterday with other August babies (and one October baby).
All the mommies work in my industry- it was fun!
Liliana is growing up so fast- instead of embracing it, I feel sad, but also excited- such a strange dichotomy of emotions.
I think she is getting a tooth- I feel something and I think I see something.
She just rolled from back to tummy- yeah!
Her poop is getting more poopish which makes me sad.
She is more smiley and interactive as ever.
She is in 6-9 month clothing and about to graduate to size 3 diaper.

That is all for now...

I Like Rice Cereal and I Cannot Lie

I really tried to hold out until the 6 month mark to introduce solids to Liliana (and by the way, I think Liliana is going to stick and Lily won't happen). But tonight, we ended up sort of unceremoniously giving her rice cereal. She was downing 21oz of milk between the hours of 9-5 and in addition to that, I was nursing her 3 times. She really seems fascinated when I would eat something so I decided that all signs pointed to her being ready...even if I wasn't. Okay, I know it is crazy, but it is just one of those things that marks her growing up. I am so excited to see what will happen next but it was a little sad at the same time. Even Chris felt a little sad. However, solids are only twice a day and we will still nurse at night during the week and all other feedings on weekends. So, it went really well. She really enjoyed the cereal and downed the whole bowl. She did seem to suffer gas about 45 min after but hopefully her system will acclimate quickly.

That is all I had to report at this time- video below!

The more things change...

A memory popped into my head the other day- more of a remembered feeling that I had on the way to the hospital the morning of August 26th. I was actually feeling GUILTY about removing Liliana from the security of the womb. I kept thinking, she isn't ready to come out yet- how unfair to cut me open and PULL her out! It is not that I am the type of person that thinks this is a cold, cruel world or anything- it just was a feeling I had. Now, as I see her experiencing the world around her, finding fascination in every little detail of a piece of fabric, I feel so amazing. She is a part of me, a part of Chris, but is Liliana. A tiny little person learning so much- one day she will be walking, going to school, going to work- kind of freaks me out b/c she is so little and, well, she is just a precious baby!

Work has been going well- the nanny situation is working out great too but we can barely afford it- not even sure if we can at all but we are making it work for now! Two things are a bit of a challenge for me since returning to work: The first involves pumping and trying to get enough milk for her to feed the following day. I won't go into detail but it is a challenge for me! The second is my insecurity about Liliana forgetting me when I am away. When I come home she wants to be held by me but is very serious. I guess I just expect her to smile and laugh when I walk in the door. I am also realizing that she seems to be a more serious, introspective little person. She certainly has her moments of smiling and laughing but often she is just absorbing the world around her with this thoughtful look. So, I am trying to get over that feeling and it goes away quickly once the weekend comes.

A couple of changes to note- she has found her feet! Also, she has taken a serious interest in reading- I mean it. When I read to her (part of our bedtime ritual) she looks at the pictures and then looks at my face intently- she really seems to enjoy it- I love it! Still not rolling over but I am not worried. She is going to be 5 months old on Monday. One more month and we will start rice cereal! My gosh she is just growing and changing so much. It is thrilling but also sad. I look at the picture on the top of the blog and see that sweet newborn face and I melt. I miss that but I love everyday and every change.

Stream of Consciousness

New year, new post-sorry for the lapse. At first, not much new was occurring and then too much was going on- I hope I can report all. To start, I did get a new job that I started yesterday. After several back and forth decisions, I chose to leave the rep group I worked for last year. There were many changes occurring, most important of which was my position becoming 100% commission. Though the potential to earn "bank" as the kids say ;-) was great, I just couldn't risk it in this economy. I was extremely fortunate to have been given the opportunity to interview with a company called Izzy. New friends I made through being pregnant with, and then having, Liliana work for this company. I am so excited to be a part of the small Chicago team because they are great people, it is a great product and it will be a lot of fun. Check it out at www.izzydesign.com.
Okay, so with this new job, it became imperative to find a nanny. I found a fantastic woman named Gaby who is from Peru. She is only available full days Tuesday and Thursday and half days Wednesday. I also found a terrific woman through Tammy named Sugey. She is Columbian and is available 1/2 days everyday. I can't give her the amount of hours she needs but she is being so great to fill in this week until Gaby starts next week. It is too bad she can't work just a couple of 1/2 days to cover where Gaby can't. In any case, at least we have something. It is hard getting out the door but it will get easier once I have a system down. Today I woke up at 5:00 and fed her back to sleep. I processed all of Chris' year end tax forms and before I knew it, I had to get going but wanted to feed Liliana one more time-she had an explosive poo etc etc...
Trying to pump at work isn't so bad b/c there are 2 of us pumping. Also, the company is so cool that the VP who is in town to get me up to speed remembers to take time for our "technical breaks" as he calls it.
After a full day away, it is so great to come home and see her but I only have 2 hours with her until she goes to bed...it is so hard. I am also feeling insecure that she will forget me. On a positive note, Chris and baby are bonding really well. He watched her 1/2 day yesterday and today and they are just really happy together- she turned that corner with him that we knew she would.

Alright, so going backwards in time now: New Years Eve was fun- we had a couple neighbors over and Liliana slept through the night from 7:00pm. The next day Doug, Jen and the girls came in town and we had so much fun. Rebecca and Emily were great with Liliana and kept her entertained. We went to the Frank Lloyd Wright studio and home, the Art Institute and Millenium Park. At the Art Institute and Frank Lloyd Wright I put her in the Baby Bjorn facing front for the first time- for the baby that loves to watch the world, this was the best thing ever! She loved every minute of it. I only wish I could see her face because apparently she was being awfully cute!
We had dinner at Gino's and also did a fun dinner at our house. It was so great to see them and makes me sad that they aren't closer. Having a baby with family to share the experience with is wonderful.

Reading back over this entry, I realize that I am less focused on Liliana things and more on my things. I guess part of that is going back to work but also because she has just been so good. I just am amazed everytime I look at her- so beautiful, sweet and wonderful. She now doesn't have to be nursed to sleep at bed time. She can put herself to sleep and I woke up a couple mornings ago to hear her just entertaining herself in her crib- I can't explain how amazing this whole experience is- I have never been happier...

On the 10th day of X-mas Weissbluth gave to me 11 hours of sleep!

Wow- Liliana will be 4 months old on Friday! She has her 4 month check up tomorrow which includes vaccinations- not looking forward to that but am curious to see how much she has grown!

She has been fighting a cold the last couple of days and hasn't quite been "herself" (whatever that means for a 17 week old). She isn't as smiley and vocal as she normally is but is still sweet and not super fussy. She is sleeping great through the night still and we are now starting a nap schedule. I try and get her to nap mid morning, early afternoon and possibly late afternoon if she seems tired. I was concerned how this would affect her night time sleep but, as Dr Weissbluth says, Sleep Begets Sleep...so true- she slept from 8:00pm to 7:30 am last night! Wow- and is currently down for a nap which she did on her own! I plunked her in her crib while I set up my "station" with my boppy, cell phone, coffee, water and laptop. When I went to get her, she was sound asleep at 9:30- perfect!

I took her last week to see Santa and she was great- she loved the mall- I think because the ceiling is so high and there was cool stuff up there for her to look at. She was laughing in line as I held her-it was cracking me up.

She is becoming so interactive-it is great but can also pose issues with feeding. Gone are the days of the sweet, calm nursing moments (well they are fewer and farther between). Now she is so interested in everything and she gets so easily distracted- when Chris walks in the room she whips her head around (ouch is all I can say). She is constantly doing that to look and smile at me, to watch her fingers move, to stare at the folds in my shirt, to stare at the cat etc, etc... I love it but it makes feeding difficult- I am not sure she is eating enough and it is a bit painful too!

I am starting to feel pressure to engage with her more- just not sure if I am doing enough to stimulate that brain of hers! I read to her, give her pictures to look at, tummy time (and back time) on her mat...I don't know why I am concerned that she is bored! Oh, by the way, she is no longer rolling over...I read this is normal but, of course, I am concerned... So, anyway, I am so excited to see all these changes but I just want to make sure I am doing my part to have a happy, fulfilled child without over stimulating- oh the pressure ;) Maybe it is time for me to get back to full time work..



I am waiting for an offer to come through for a new job- I should hear today...Once I do, I will have a better idea about what we can afford for childcare. I have many leads for nannies and a couple in home childcare options. I am anxious to get that put to bed so that I can start my new job without complications. I am very excited for this opportunity!! More details to follow once it is official.

Party Animal

Liliana was the hit of the party last night. She chose to break into full on laughter for the first time in front of an audience! Then she slept from 10pm until noon today (with a brief waking at 5:00am to feed...she rocks!

It's all in the Genes baby!

Okay, I totally stole this idea from a much more clever and funny blog managed by my friend Ashley and her fiance Gabe...
Some people say Liliana is a "spitting image" of me and others say Chris.
Above are baby pictures of me and Chris. Chris is the black and white one in case you couldn't figure it out by the smirk.
There is a poll to the left-
Have fun!

Learning Curve

Alright, the first 2 days at the office went pretty well. Granted I wasn't gone the full day but it is a start. I did forget my pump both days but have learned that the handicapped stall in the restrooms at the mart have an electrical outlet so I guess that is where I will be doin' my biz a couple times a day.
Day one: Plan was for Chris to watch the little one. I woke up at 6:00am to her cries. I nursed her back to sleep and put her back in the crib. It is now almost 7:00am-she nursed a LONG time! So far so good- I was able to pump, shower, dress and ALMOST get out the door. She woke up screaming as I was preparing to leave. Very odd- normally she doesn't do that. It is around 8:30 I think at this point. So I decide to nurse her again before I go- it is approaching 9:00am- good thing I don't punch a clock! Okay, now she is changed, fed and rested so I leave. All is great- chris calls around noon b/c she is being really cute and vocal. She takes 2 bottles while I am gone. I leave for home around 2:30 after Chris calls again because he thinks she is on the verge of a meltdown. By the time I get home after 3:00 they are happily enjoying each others company again. False alarm but I was glad to be home all the same. She was excessively fussy throughout the evening and slept a lot in my arms. I learned that Chris didn't squeeze the air out of the Playtex bottle and that he re-used the same liner after the first one sat out all morning with old milk! Rookie mistake I guess-I let it go but chalked up the fussiness to that. This morning all was fine.

Day 2: We took our neighbor Julia up on her offer to watch Lili. She watched her for about 3.5 hours until Chris got back from his job. They did great together. She took 2 bottles and I came home to feed her mid afternoon. She was sleeping on Chris' shoulder when I got back. We have been playing since then and now she is sleeping again. I am so pleased it worked with Julia b/c it would be great to have her as a consistent caretaker. We need to figure out a schedule so that we aren't winging it day to day. I guess I am just not quite prepared yet to be back at work. I am getting there though!

Speaking of work, I met with the "boys" today and have learned (confirmed) that come Jan 1 I will be on a commission only basis. I will become an equal player in the rep group but am giving up a lot in terms of car allowance, parking paid, entertainment expenses etc. But with great risk comes great reward right? It is scary but is really the only way I will ever get ahead financially. I can also bring on new lines to build my own business- I have high hopes it will all work out. Hopefully with the news of lower interest rates Chris' business will pick up too. Already we see signs- 3 jobs tomorrow and 2 on Monday!
I feel very optimistic and hopeful for the future.

Jetset

It was a successful trip out to santa fe. Traveling with Lili was a piece of cake. We were able to secure a 3rd seat for her car seat on the way there and back though she wasn't in the seat too often. She mostly nursed, slept and looked around curiously. On the way there she cried briefly after an uncomfortable stint on the airplane lavatory changing table.

We ended up staying in Santa Fe 4 days longer than originally anticipated because we wanted to spend more time with friends and family. She met her Uncle Garry , Aunt Brittany , cousins Zoe and Nate, Great Aunt Barbara and Great Grandpa Kaufman. I should have been blogging all along to capture all that happened because as I sit here trying to reflect on the week it is one big blur. I came away from the visit with one main feeling: our baby is awesome! Seriously...hardly fusses, is truly cute and did great in all social situations. She was passed around at parties, had a photo shoot, was oggled over at the retirement home and was the coolest kid the whole time. Which makes it even sadder that I am back at work.
Tomorrow I am leaving the comfort of "working remotely" and venturing into the showroom and making client calls. Considering we still don't have any care options set up, this is tough. Chris will be watching her. I have 2 feedings pumped and Chris asked me tonight "what angle do I feed her at 45?" Oh God what have I done? My bad for ALWAYS nursing her. We are so ill prepared for this.
I imagine there is a better post coming after tomorrow.