Saturday, September 18, 2010

Off Topic Post

This was written by a woman who goes by Riuaki who is a member of the Atheist/Agnostic families board that I often post on. I love it and hope it helps those of you who question my choice.

Do not pity me, do not feel sorry for me. I have chosen my path by my own free will. I am not lost, so there is no need for me to be found. My life is not empty. I know who I am and I know my purpose. I love, I am loved, and I strive every day to make sure I leave this world in better condition than I found it. My world is not dark and it is not cold. I see beauty and divinity in the world around me, and it is in no way less meaningful than your world ruled by a deity. My divine is love and nature, physics and chemistry and respect. I can respect you without agreeing and love you without believing that my love was directed by a higher power. Disagreement is not mocking, but instead is a quest for mutual understanding. I have no reason to mock you and it is hurtful when you proclaim how sorry you are for me.

Have you ever tried to see the universe from a different perspective, maybe one you were not taught through tradition? I can see your point of view because I explored it in my initial wandering. I do not wander anymore. I now understand my place in the universe, and it is right here where I am. I may be small, but I am not insignificant. I can touch the lives of others, and my small caress can ripple through humanity in a subtle wave. I do not need to make the world mine, I just need to make my own world matter. I need to make it matter for my son, my husband, my friends, and my family.

I am not lacking for anything intangible, so do not pity my lack of belief. I have hope, but it is centered around humanity instead of the vague promise of reward based on faith. I see hope and wonder in the eyes of my child and I know he is something special and unique, as is every child in the world. I have not squandered the concept of a soul, for all my soul is is my individuality. I am not like any other even though we are all fundamentally the same, and that spark of uniqueness is my soul. I have morals, and I try to live my life as well as possible because I am living for this life and this life alone. I am living my way so my progeny can thrive in a safe and clean world. I am not selfish. I have sacrificed an incredible amount for other people, so do not trivialize my achievements just because they were not accomplished under the banner of a belief. I try to always be honest, even if the truth isn't always what people want to hear. The truth is deserved by all and it is told out of love and not fear.

Do not pity me, my friend, for I do not live in fear. I lost my fear when I found myself. I found intense love for humanity, respect for the universe and everything in it, virtue in rationality, and innate values which embrace the best of all religions. I respect you as an individual, so please respect me. If you feel you must pray for me, go ahead, but I do not need it and it honestly makes me a bit uncomfortable if you tell me outright that you are. A kind word and a kind thought will suffice, and I will reciprocate the same to you. Work toward your own peace as I work toward mine. Embrace me because I am different from you, since it would be a boring world if we were all the same.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Facebook could be my breaking point

Beyond just being killed with the overwhelming posts of ultrasounds, pregnancy announcements, birth announcements and the such, I was just confronted with a whole new, strange feeling. One of the mamas from my, now assumed to be retired, moms playgroup has a 7 week old baby girl. She was due just a week or so after when I would have been due from m first miscarriage. Anyway, on Facebook she just posted a request for advice on how to get her 7 week old to nap longer. Her first born, in her memory, didn't have this issue. I honestly did not feel qualified to answer. Why do I feel less of a mother because I only have one child who is no longer an infant? One of the responders was ANOTHER mom from the group who ALSO just had a baby girl in July and yet another had one in May. I feel left out. I feel like crap.

Liliana is incredible and has become so interactive and amazing (um, not that she hasn't been amazing from minute 1). She started at a new day care today which I am so thrilled about. Next post will be all about Liliana and her new day care.