I Like Rice Cereal and I Cannot Lie

I really tried to hold out until the 6 month mark to introduce solids to Liliana (and by the way, I think Liliana is going to stick and Lily won't happen). But tonight, we ended up sort of unceremoniously giving her rice cereal. She was downing 21oz of milk between the hours of 9-5 and in addition to that, I was nursing her 3 times. She really seems fascinated when I would eat something so I decided that all signs pointed to her being ready...even if I wasn't. Okay, I know it is crazy, but it is just one of those things that marks her growing up. I am so excited to see what will happen next but it was a little sad at the same time. Even Chris felt a little sad. However, solids are only twice a day and we will still nurse at night during the week and all other feedings on weekends. So, it went really well. She really enjoyed the cereal and downed the whole bowl. She did seem to suffer gas about 45 min after but hopefully her system will acclimate quickly.

That is all I had to report at this time- video below!

The more things change...

A memory popped into my head the other day- more of a remembered feeling that I had on the way to the hospital the morning of August 26th. I was actually feeling GUILTY about removing Liliana from the security of the womb. I kept thinking, she isn't ready to come out yet- how unfair to cut me open and PULL her out! It is not that I am the type of person that thinks this is a cold, cruel world or anything- it just was a feeling I had. Now, as I see her experiencing the world around her, finding fascination in every little detail of a piece of fabric, I feel so amazing. She is a part of me, a part of Chris, but is Liliana. A tiny little person learning so much- one day she will be walking, going to school, going to work- kind of freaks me out b/c she is so little and, well, she is just a precious baby!

Work has been going well- the nanny situation is working out great too but we can barely afford it- not even sure if we can at all but we are making it work for now! Two things are a bit of a challenge for me since returning to work: The first involves pumping and trying to get enough milk for her to feed the following day. I won't go into detail but it is a challenge for me! The second is my insecurity about Liliana forgetting me when I am away. When I come home she wants to be held by me but is very serious. I guess I just expect her to smile and laugh when I walk in the door. I am also realizing that she seems to be a more serious, introspective little person. She certainly has her moments of smiling and laughing but often she is just absorbing the world around her with this thoughtful look. So, I am trying to get over that feeling and it goes away quickly once the weekend comes.

A couple of changes to note- she has found her feet! Also, she has taken a serious interest in reading- I mean it. When I read to her (part of our bedtime ritual) she looks at the pictures and then looks at my face intently- she really seems to enjoy it- I love it! Still not rolling over but I am not worried. She is going to be 5 months old on Monday. One more month and we will start rice cereal! My gosh she is just growing and changing so much. It is thrilling but also sad. I look at the picture on the top of the blog and see that sweet newborn face and I melt. I miss that but I love everyday and every change.

Stream of Consciousness

New year, new post-sorry for the lapse. At first, not much new was occurring and then too much was going on- I hope I can report all. To start, I did get a new job that I started yesterday. After several back and forth decisions, I chose to leave the rep group I worked for last year. There were many changes occurring, most important of which was my position becoming 100% commission. Though the potential to earn "bank" as the kids say ;-) was great, I just couldn't risk it in this economy. I was extremely fortunate to have been given the opportunity to interview with a company called Izzy. New friends I made through being pregnant with, and then having, Liliana work for this company. I am so excited to be a part of the small Chicago team because they are great people, it is a great product and it will be a lot of fun. Check it out at www.izzydesign.com.
Okay, so with this new job, it became imperative to find a nanny. I found a fantastic woman named Gaby who is from Peru. She is only available full days Tuesday and Thursday and half days Wednesday. I also found a terrific woman through Tammy named Sugey. She is Columbian and is available 1/2 days everyday. I can't give her the amount of hours she needs but she is being so great to fill in this week until Gaby starts next week. It is too bad she can't work just a couple of 1/2 days to cover where Gaby can't. In any case, at least we have something. It is hard getting out the door but it will get easier once I have a system down. Today I woke up at 5:00 and fed her back to sleep. I processed all of Chris' year end tax forms and before I knew it, I had to get going but wanted to feed Liliana one more time-she had an explosive poo etc etc...
Trying to pump at work isn't so bad b/c there are 2 of us pumping. Also, the company is so cool that the VP who is in town to get me up to speed remembers to take time for our "technical breaks" as he calls it.
After a full day away, it is so great to come home and see her but I only have 2 hours with her until she goes to bed...it is so hard. I am also feeling insecure that she will forget me. On a positive note, Chris and baby are bonding really well. He watched her 1/2 day yesterday and today and they are just really happy together- she turned that corner with him that we knew she would.

Alright, so going backwards in time now: New Years Eve was fun- we had a couple neighbors over and Liliana slept through the night from 7:00pm. The next day Doug, Jen and the girls came in town and we had so much fun. Rebecca and Emily were great with Liliana and kept her entertained. We went to the Frank Lloyd Wright studio and home, the Art Institute and Millenium Park. At the Art Institute and Frank Lloyd Wright I put her in the Baby Bjorn facing front for the first time- for the baby that loves to watch the world, this was the best thing ever! She loved every minute of it. I only wish I could see her face because apparently she was being awfully cute!
We had dinner at Gino's and also did a fun dinner at our house. It was so great to see them and makes me sad that they aren't closer. Having a baby with family to share the experience with is wonderful.

Reading back over this entry, I realize that I am less focused on Liliana things and more on my things. I guess part of that is going back to work but also because she has just been so good. I just am amazed everytime I look at her- so beautiful, sweet and wonderful. She now doesn't have to be nursed to sleep at bed time. She can put herself to sleep and I woke up a couple mornings ago to hear her just entertaining herself in her crib- I can't explain how amazing this whole experience is- I have never been happier...