First Day Home

I left the hospital yesterday and was happy to leave but I have to say that the hospital stay was great- it really helped to get down breastfeeding and have nurses there at the push of a button to answer my questions and calm my fears.
I am still in quite bit of pain from the surgery which I didn't realize until I let my Norco intake lapse! I am still trying to keep activity normal without over-doing it.
It was kind-of hectic coming home b/c the house was a mess- Zeppo had crapped everywhere- even on the walls- it disgusts me so much and all I wanted was to come home to a clean house- oh well- it is clean now...
When we pulled up front, Chris pointed out that the neighbors had created a Welcome Home Liliana sign with sidewalk chalk- it was so sweet- I love it!
I have found there are so many places around the house perfect for nursing- the couch in the nursery and den are so comfortable and with the Boppy I can get easily positioned for a nice, intimate nursing- I love nursing so much except for the fact that I am incredibly sore from mishaps early on while we were both learning what to do. Other than that (which I am hoping gets better soon) nursing is the sweetest experience- I love the looks on her face and the sound she makes.
So I went to bed early last night and I am realizing that I am breaking all the rules I had set in place before actually HAVING a baby. To begin with, I have let her sleep with me every night- even in the hospital we would fall asleep together. I asked Chris to put her in her crib when he came to bed but he said we both looked so peaceful so he ended up leaving her there and sleeping on the couch! In any case, I woke up around 3:00 and nursed her and Chris came to bed- finally put her down IN HER CRIB around 4:00. Next thing I know it was 8:00am and I hadn't heard a peep out of her-of course I completely panicked- I thought I was supposed to be up constantly throughout the night? I was at the hospital but that was b/c nurses were constantly coming in the room.
I flew out of bed only to find her sleeping peacefully- I had to wake her to feed her. So now I am asking myself- do I have a wonderfully easy baby or is something wrong with her?
I imagine this can change too- it was the first night and she is only 5 days old!
She hates her diaper and clothes being changed- really the only time she full out cries is during those times.
I am listening to her on the monitor right now making all sorts of funny noises in her crib- I can't stand how cute she is! Part of me doesn't want this newborn stage to leave- I love everything just as it is.
Right now, with Liliana being 5 days old, I have to say I love being her mom-I love this experience so much- especially when I was able to sing along to James Taylor to her this morning.
I am so happy...

New Mom High

I want to write so many things but whenever I get a moment it is either just that- a moment- or I am too tired to think clearly- the latter is true right now.
I am still in the hospital and will be discharged tomorrow.
I can't describe how incredible I feel. I hear this frequently from other moms but the love that I feel for my baby is just the most immense emotion that I have ever experienced.
This time in the hospital has been great but it has been tough too because of the pain from the surgery. Pain aside, I feel like Liliana and I have been living in our own world where we are getting to know eachother and it has been the most precious time to me. The down side of this time is I feel I have excluded Chris. He has not been part of this time and when he shows up at the hospital I feel like he is intruding on us. I know how selfish and unfair that sounds but it is how I feel. I hope when we get back to our home we will be able to reconnect as a trio. Chris is so unbelievably in love with her and I melt to see it- I know we are each having our own experiences so now we need to have time as a new family.
I also feel blessed to have such great friends and family- all the messages we have received from everyone out there has meant so much to me. Thank you!
I imagine there will be no shortness of pictures posted to the blog in the future.
Please keep tuning in.

Welcome Liliana Genevieve Kminek

She is finally here!
Arrived 8/26/08
2:57pm
8lbs 4oz
21.5 inches

So much to say not much time at the moment!
Here is a slideshow of our beautiful little girl.
She arrived c-section yesterday afternoon at Northwestern Prentice Women's Hospital
More details to follow later I promise...
Enjoy the pictures

3 days past due date- emotions taking over

Went to the English Beat concert yesterday-
I should explain it was in a park with lots of families and I was able to sit most of the time.
It was fun and felt great to get out of the house.
Today is a different story.
I am extremely emotional today and am feeling panicky and scared.
I couldn't find Chris in the bookstore and almost started to cry.
I suppose this is all normal- I just can't wait to meet little one.

No New News

That is all- No progression, no changes- somewhat frustrating but nothing can be done about it.

Today's our due date!

Well I have my 40 week appointment today so I will update later as to where we stand with labor progression (I feel no signs of labor). I am up early again this morning (Chris' snoring) but couldn't fall back asleep because I was suddenly overtaken with thoughts on how I want to raise our baby and if I am crazy...
2 things triggered this: 1) While cleaning out closets yesterday a Schoolhouse Rock song came on my ipod (where it came from I am not sure). This morning I woke up singing "Interjections (Hey!) show excitement (Yow!) or emotion (Ouch!)." (I still can't get the song out of my head).
2) While walking last evening I was shocked and pleased to see a group of small(ish) children playing outside. 2 boys were running around playing with pool noodles as "swords" and two smaller children were pulling some sort of little cars by a cord (very retro). Why was I shocked? I guess I don't see that very often- I do see children riding bikes with their parents or weekend organized team sports at the elementary school (which I have a separate issue with due to the awards of team trophies just for participation- more on that in a separate post if necessary) but I just don't see children playing outside free and unrestrained like that very often. The moms were sitting on the porch with a glass of wine supervising (note to self, I may want to stroll by again and introduce myself).
Okay, so where am I going with all this? Let me re-group. My main goal for my baby is that she is happy (duh right?). I want her to be confident (something I seriously lacked as a child). Okay, we all want our children to be smart, happy, confident, successful etc...
My thoughts have strayed again- I will make this straight and to the point:
I can't stand all the electronics and videos and crap that is out there now. I am totally old school and love wooden blocks and chutes and ladders and playing outside and interacting with nature... Seriously, one magazine actually suggested that children can get a fair amount of exercise through video games and even better with the Wii Fit. Sickening!
Maybe I am feeling sentimental for the 70's, and maybe I can't shield my child from the progress of technology but will I harm her by encouraging her to read instead of watch endless videos? Will she be considered the group geek if we don't allow her to have a PS3? (is that latest I don't even know). Is this all useless worry? I assume it is...
What an unfocused go nowhere rant- I am tempted to delete this post entirely but I am not going to- I will re-visit this topic when I actually have the baby and am battling with plopping her in front of the TV to watch Baby Einstein so I can clean the kitchen or to take time to read her a chapter from Charlotte's Web or Pat the Bunny.
Good Grief...

Just to brag

Short, quick note about my wonderful husband...
As much as he can drive me crazy at times- especially with hormones ramped up- I just want to share how incredible he is.
We were out walking downtown Oak Park today and I was in my clueless state of mind as usual. I was about to cross the street and was saying something to Chris and he didn't answer. I looked next to me and he wasn't there. He had walked over to the other corner to ask an elderly lady if she needed help crossing the street- I know, maybe it is cliche boyscout stuff but the lady did in fact need help. She walked very slowly and lacked the confidence to cross and had apparently been on the corner for a bit. He ended up walking her across the next corner to her lunch spot.
I just about started crying when I witnessed this. This is just who he is- he is a truly wonderful person and I LOVE that he is the father of my baby...even if he does rhyme every line of a song with "smell my feet"...

Going stir crazy

Okay, now I get why people say the last week is the hardest. I don't necessarily feel any more uncomfortable or different, I am just so ready to have this baby! I think taking this week off is making it more difficult too b/c I have time on my hands to just anticipate. Was it a mistake? Should I have kept working right up until the very end? I think in retrospect I will appreciate this time.
Chris said "we gotta get this baby out of you!" Yes, Chris, we do!
Then there is the concern that creeps in too. It was hard enough being paranoid throughout the pregnancy- reading too many articles about what can go wrong. I had finally gotten to a place where I was far enough along that I just sat back, relaxed and enjoyed ever little kick, roll and hiccup. Now that it is so tight in there she isn't moving like she was last week and now I have ventured into that world of worry again. It doesn't matter that "they" say this is normal, I just can't help but wonder if something is wrong.
I feel a bit lonely too b/c most of the people who were pregnant "with" me have all had their babies- some were due AFTER me.
I will say it one (or 5) more times- I am ready. I am READY to have my baby! I want to meet her and start my crazy, exhausting life with my new family.

39 Weeks Today!

It is amazing that I am at 39 weeks. I always looked so forward to the weekends since we found out we were pregnant b/c I would devour every pregnancy book I had. I would curl up on the couch with my coffee (no, I did not give up coffee) and read the next chapter in my week by week pregnancy guides. Early on it was so fascinating b/c there were many rapid changes happening every week to the baby and to my body. I have weaned myself from the books and am now just anxious to meet baby.
I had my 39 week appointment today and have not dropped or dilated at all. I know this is fine and normal, especially for a breech b/c a tush on the cervix doesn't help to promote labor like a head can. I just am ready to experience some changes and progression even though we are scheduled for the delivery. I am being greedy, or crazy depending on who you ask!
I officially start maternity leave after today's workday. Though I intend on getting a lot done around the house, part of me feels I should be working right up until the delivery. At the same time, I really need the time to do final prep, rest my body and be prepared in the doubtful event I do go into labor.
Chris has been really cute lately- he is excited and I know he is going to be just fantastic with her. I couldn't have picked a better baby daddy!
I am not saying this for his benefit either b/c I seriously doubt he is reading this blog!

Nursery is finally done...almost. With 8 days until due date

Well another thing crossed off the list. Chris finally got his closet completed which thrills me to no end since it allowed us to finish the nursery- sad thing is, I think the closet is the nicest room in the house now! Second nicest is the nursery! See link to view pictures of the nursery
http://picasaweb.google.com/Leighkminek/NewAlbum81408339PM

On another note, I am starting to panic a bit. Usually first thing in the morning when I have just woken up. I think I am having really funky dreams but I wake up feeling really out of place like the life that is happening to me isn't mine. Like I am supposed to just be living a very simple, uncomplicated existence that certainly does not involve the raising of a child. It is a very surreal feeling that I can shake pretty quickly but it does have an impact on me.

Scary moment- 11 days until due date

Scary moment today when I fell while walking downtown. I have felt pretty in control of my body and my balance throughout the pregnancy but today I realized how my center of gravity has shifted. I twisted my ankle in a small hole in the sidewalk and just went down. It all happened so fast- I had my business case over one shoulder and was carrying my laptop bag in the other hand. Baby is fine- a call to the doctor reassured me that she is okay. I have some scrapes on my feet and knee but am fine too.
What I find amazing is how my first second and third thoughts all go to the baby. I didn't even notice my scrapes or anything until my friend pointed it out.
You know, much of the reason we waited so long to decide to have a baby is we thought we were just too selfish to be able to adequately care for another human life. It is like this other part of you takes over and all you want to do is protect this being that you haven't even met yet!
I know, all your parents out there are saying- "you haven't experienced nothin' yet!" I can only imagine what it will be like when we see, touch, feel and smell this little life.

Something else that I find amazing is how differently people treat you. I actually had strangers stop, help me up, ask if they could call me a cab. Beyond that, people are just more friendly. Elevators are held open, strangers tell you how cute you look in your new maternity dress. In general, I find people to be very cold, impersonal and sometimes downright rude. I have seen a completely different side of people since I have been showing my "bump". This comment may be an overstatement or a cliche but, in a way, it has restored my faith in humanity!
Of course that will probably go out the window when I start getting dirty looks from people when my child starts crying in the grocery store. I am, at the end of the day, still a cynic- sorry!

Why a C-section? (13 days til due date)

Several people have asked me why I don't attempt to have the baby turned (know as an external cephalic version) or try acupuncture and/or holistic remedies to coax her to turn. All options have been considered and here is what Chris and I have decided. (FYI, docs in the US generally are not trained to deliver breech babies except via CS)
The ECV option was pretty much 86'd immediately. I have low amniotic fluid levels and an extra placental lobe attached anteriorly. The low levels will most likely prevent her from flipping on her own and also make it difficult for the docs to do it manually. The extra lobe can cause a huge problem if it were to detach during the procedure- end result- emergency c-section. Besides, if anyone has seen this procedure done it DOES NOT look pleasant!
I have considered acupuncture but we both feel that peanut is in this position for a reason (could be shape of my uterus/pelvis, extra lobe etc...) There is nothing to guarantee she won't flip back. In the meantime, we have tried the pelvic tilt, frozen peas on her head and acupressure on my little toes!
So as much as it disappoints both of us, we have completely accepted the scheduled c-section. Besides, as soon as we see her I don't think we will care one way or the other how she entered the world.

Oh, another thing I want to document was an small bump in the road with my nose that I experienced a couple of weeks ago. I developed what is called a pyogenic granuloma-aka pregnancy tumor- inside my nose. I guess about 5% of pregnant women will develop this. I was experiencing horrible nose bleeds that became increasingly worse and more frequent. After a 5 hour visit to the ER (poor Chris!) they found the growth and diagnosed it. Thanks to my dad's good friend who is an ENT in the burbs, I was able to have it removed the following Thursday. I was extremely nervous about the procedure b/c I wasn't sure how the baby would respond to the anesthesia I was given for the surgery. She did great and so did I. It turns out the growth was the size of a quarter! I feel 100 times better since it was removed and didn't realize how awful I was feeling until it was gone.
So, as I sit here right now watching the cubs game (I have ordered my cubs pink onesie and can't wait to cheer them on with little one) I am still feeling great. No signs of early labor or any discomfort. Thanks for reading!

Still 38 weeks pregnant but with new news

Well she is still breech so we have our date scheduled for August &$- ah, I am not telling! THIS is the only way I can feign spontaneity! Besides, technically labor can still start on its own at any time and that date will go out the window.
Stay tuned

38 weeks pregnant

This is the first post and I am tempted to try and recapture all thoughts and feelings since the day we discovered we were pregnant in December of 2007! However, that would be a mess so the only thing I want to say is that I have had a fantastic pregnancy. I have loved the experience completely. We are so excited to finally meet this little peanut but, I must say, I am going to miss having her in my belly! I wonder of that is where the baby blues come from- actually missing being pregnant?
Tomorrow is my 38 week check-up and we will find out if she is still breech. It looks like a scheduled C-Section is in the future. I am disappointed b/c I have these romantic ideals about going into labor and Chris rushing us to the hospital! The thought of scheduling the birth bothers me. Everything in my life is scheduled- I LIVE and BREATH by my calendar- the spontaneity of labor is something I looked forward to!
Well, tomorrow we will know more...